Aveline Chocolat
Aveline Chocolat aka Jeanette Natalia Caramel aka Myrna Smush is a renowned journalist and billionaire. Ms. Chocolat/Caramel/Smush is a two time winner of the Miss Portugal beauty pageant. She won in 1986 and 2014. She has been called the fifth Beatle by people who are not familiar with the Beatles or numbers. She earned a degree in Mongoose Farming from Middle Tennessee State University. She claims she can see the future, but she refuses to give any specifics about her abilities. Despite her deathly yam allergy, she says she is very happy to be writing at YamPage…she also would like to ask “What is YamPage?” She’d call Anka Chiorini (’23) a good friend.
Administration Adjusts Plan to Combat Bathroom Vaping
“We realized we needed to give the students a way to relieve themselves during school hours,” Mr. Nylen stated in an interview, “We think we’ve come up with the perfect solution.”
New Auditorium Looks Suspiciously Old
One parent of a freshman attending the concert said, “I’ve only been to Dessert Concerts in the JDMS cafeteria, so I was understandably nervous for swanky high school choral concerts, but when I tripped on the carpet walking to my seat, only to find a piece of chewed gum and ‘we are not JD’ carved into the arm rest, I felt as though I had found my home.”
New Global Teacher’s Alter Ego Revealed
One freshman said that in the middle of sixth period Global, Mrs. Delaney received a call on her classroom phone. No one knew who was on the other end, but witnesses reported that she began muttering angrily about how Martian Manhunter was “at it again.”