Aveline Chocolat
Sophomore Class Co-President Denies Existence of “Spring”
“It seems to me that Meskos’ views toward spring stem from his complete lack of understanding of climate change. Or weather. Or seasons in general. Did this guy not take Earth Science?”
Yampage Reviews History!
To celebrate the new-ish decade, here is Yampage's decade-by-decade review of the last century.
Where Was Mikey Meskos When the Texas Power Grid Failed?
“How could he possibly do that?! It’s like he doesn’t even care about the good people of Texas,” Connor Clarkson, a constituent of Meskos, stated.
AP Chemistry Students Make COVID Vaccine
While most vaccines take several years to be developed and have to undergo many phases of testing and approval, however, this intrepid group of senior scientists has developed a vaccine in under a month.
Sophomores Read “Oedipus Rex,” Begin Search for Laios’ Killer
“The god commands us to expel from the land of Thebes an old defilement we are sheltering, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do!”
My Holiday Traditions: Aveline Chocolat
Yampage's winter break countdown is still happening!
Sophomore Class President: “Let’s Build a Wall”
“Do you really want the future of JDHS to be exposed to CBA, who is responsible for all of the evils of the middle school including, but not limited to, the swim unit and the eighth grade career research project. We need to build a wall.”
Sophomores Traumatized by The Social Dilemma, Check Social Media to Cheer Up
“I posted about how much the documentary freaked me out on my Twitter and I got 20 likes!” Kai Brutsaert reported. The aforementioned post read: “So scared about the apocalypse or the end of civilization or whatever :( #socialdilemma #socialmediaisruiningourlives #tgif.”
Learning from History: JD’s New Covid Testing Procedure
Astute scholars of US history may be thinking that this new plan sounds an awful lot like the Salem Witch Trials. In these assumptions, these scholars are very nearly correct. These are the Salem Witch Trials.