What’s Next for the School After Blue Hall Construction?

Each wing of the building is steadily being destroyed and replaced with rooms out of a Disney sitcom set in 2050.


Plight of the Leftover Cookies: The Gingerbread Man That Got Away

His swift little feet were powered by the growing mass of students behind him.

Don’t Have a New Year’s Resolution? Let Us Help You!

Nobody has time to spend centuries putting on leg and butt covers in the morning.

A Breakthrough in Student Safety: JD Students Assigned Personal Security Officers

The ultimate goal of this school district should be the safety of children, and the best way to ensure that is to have a man with a gun follow them around 24/7.


J-DHS Boys Volleyball Team Owes Success to the Tune Squad

All we need to do is get a little… Looney.

Food and Whining: A Review of Thanksgiving Foods

Mashed potatoes found the texture of the turkey dry and unpredictable, and refused to comment on the “travesty.”

Unit Tests Reveal First Grade Students Critically Behind on AP Calculus Curriculum

We [first graders] can’t keep dealing with this sort of thing.

Freshmen and Sophomores in the Musical Take Action to Relate to Their Characters, Go Method

I only wish they would spend more time practicing their choreography instead of trying to do precalculus homework.

Ten More Things to be “Pushed Aside” for Future Pep Rallies

punctuation and capitalization are a waste of time pep rallies are not


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