Agatha Smoot
Agatha Smoot is an elite butter churner from Willow Canyon, Arizona. After 57 years of butter churning, she found the career had become too intense to continue full time and decided to pursue other passions. Smoot packed her bags and moved to Jamesville, New York in 2017 for the sole purpose of starting a career at Yampage. Since then, she has dedicated herself to providing the best, juiciest, and most accurate stories of the happenings at JD High School, though she continues to participate in butter-churning competitions on the weekends. Her other hobbies include candle making, scarf knitting, whittling, and hot yoga. Rumor has it, Smoot lives deep inside the unused locker of Emily Ninestein (‘21) and will only respond to Xtra Cheddar Goldfish or acapella performances of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Lizards, Lizards, and More Lizards
After seeing several cases similar to that of Coles-Carruthers, the school psychologist explained that she believed social distancing was exacerbating the lizard craze. “These kids are trapped at home with nowhere to go, so the lizards take over their lives. It’s lizards, lizards, and more lizards - they just can’t escape.”