You Aren’t Alone: All Dads Want to Go On Family Walks

With millions across the country stuck in quarantine due to COVID-19, many are bored and looking for things to do. However, a certain group of people knows exactly what to do.

Dads in America have been the main proponents of family walks for decades. With all the free time that kids now have, the opportunities for walks have increased exponentially.

Local dad John Walkerton says that the free time is just a small part of the reason why family walks have increased. “We have more time, which is really nice. And the weather has been beautiful. But I just want to show Jerry from across the street that I’m not a chump.”

The true reason that dads want to go on family walks isn’t to spend time with their family or enjoy the outdoors. It’s actually because these dads want to show up their neighbors.

With spring barbeques being cancelled, dads can’t compete with grilling recipes. Golf courses are also closed, which means no more subtle digs at each others’ putting form. Family walks are all they have.

A walk around the neighborhood is one of the best unhealthy, yet still friendly, competitions to have between neighbors and acquaintances. It’s the perfect time to show off new cargo shorts, flex with a pair of sunglasses, or humblebrag about reorganizing the garage. 

Walkerton emphasized that while family walks are fun, it is important to do it in a safe manner to prevent the spread of coronavirus. “Wear masks if you can. And definitely stay across the street when your annoying neighbor Jerry tries to talk to you. It’s the right thing to do.”

So while it may seem like a pain to go on a walk after dinner with your family, it’s a good way to get some fresh air and spend some quality time with loved ones. As long as you stay away from annoying dads like Jerry, everything should be a-okay. Remember: anything beats yardwork. Anything.

Breckenridge Harrington Jr. is the primary sports insider for YamPage. His top accomplishment in life is making the JV Go Fish team as a senior in high school. Harrington Jr.'s favorite sports are watching Netflix, eating Oreos, and interpretive cartwheeling. He lives with his parents, four of his friends, and his pet anteater named Charles. While Harrington Jr. is excited to work for YamPage, he still claims that "It's just a temporary job. I'm just working here until I make the U.S. Olympic Belly Flop team." His handwriting is strikingly similar to Tyler Aitken (’21)’s.