Where Was Mikey Meskos When the Texas Power Grid Failed?

In the past few weeks, many Texans have been left freezing, without power or water. Most media outlets have been directing their energy (no pun intended) to reporting about Ted Cruz’s trip to Cancun at the time of the power grid’s failure. However, another significant leader was suspiciously absent at the same time: sophomore class co-president Mikey Meskos.

On the day that the power grid failed, Co-president Meskos was reported by many eyewitnesses and the attendance office to be in his AP World History class, learning about the French Revolution.

“It’s shocking to think that he would choose to learn about the revolution of France’s third estate against the injustices of the first two estates over helping his (not) constituents,” sophomore Morgan Moracco told Yampage. 

“How could he possibly do that?! It’s like he doesn’t even care about the good people of Texas,” Connor Clarkson, a constituent of Meskos, stated.

How could he possibly do that? The short answer is that he simply walked from the large cafeteria to the blue hall. The long answer is much more complicated, but really boils down to his lack of investment in and utter indifference toward the state of Texas as a whole.

“It’s almost like he doesn’t care about America,” sophomore Connie Zhang disclosed. “I mean, he’s not even taking AP U.S. History for goodness sake!”

At press time, Meskos could not be reached for a comment. 

“It’s unbelievable that Mikey could have so little regard for the Lone Star State and our country,” said Meskos’ former opposing candidate and most outspoken critic, Sabina Hege. “Which is why you should have voted for Sabina Hege for sophomore class president.” Hege was also reportedly in her AP World History class at the time of the power grid failure. She and Meskos are in the same class.

Aveline Chocolat
Aveline Chocolat aka Jeanette Natalia Caramel aka Myrna Smush is a renowned journalist and billionaire. Ms. Chocolat/Caramel/Smush is a two time winner of the Miss Portugal beauty pageant. She won in 1986 and 2014. She has been called the fifth Beatle by people who are not familiar with the Beatles or numbers. She earned a degree in Mongoose Farming from Middle Tennessee State University. She claims she can see the future, but she refuses to give any specifics about her abilities. Despite her deathly yam allergy, she says she is very happy to be writing at YamPage…she also would like to ask “What is YamPage?” She’d call Anka Chiorini (’23) a good friend.