1. They bought the wrong color paint.

The “Turquoise Hall” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

2. The one-lane swimming pool is taking longer than expected.

After the Boys’ Swim Team won sectionals, they used their success as a bargaining chip to get a place to practice in the high school.

3. The Italian tile for the walls is having trouble crossing the border.

Supply chain issues…

4. The construction workers are paid by the hour.

It’s called a hustle for a reason.

5. It’s never actually coming back.

I mean, have you seen it in the past year?

6. The construction workers are Geminis.

I have no clue what this means.

7. It never actually existed.

Adopted predominantly by freshmen, many deny the existence of this part of the Blue Hall entirely.

8. The end of the Blue Hall was one of the last “devious licks.”

All I’m saying is we had it before the trend started…

9. The Chinese program is plotting a comeback.

It is kind of weird that a foreign language was cut in an era of “diversity and inclusion” now that we think about it…

10. Add your own!

There are too many to count, so add your favorite conspiracy theory here!

Digby Thanoscar
Digby Thanoscar is a proud New Yamsterdam native with a background in botany and underwater welding. When not writing for Yampage, Thanoscar enjoys watching "Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives," and writing long Twitter threads on why it’s an objectively better show than "Chopped." On the rare occasion "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives" isn’t on, Thanoscar can be found playing Papa’s Freezeria. Thanoscar hopes to visit Flavortown with David Scibilia (‘22).