The New Arctic Monkeys Album is Not Worth The Listen

Photo Credit: "Kennysun" on Wikimedia Commons

The Arctic Monkeys are an English indie/alternative band featuring Alex Turner as the lead vocalist. The band is mainly known for their most popular songs “Do I Wanna Know?,” “Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?,” and “505.” On October 21, the band released their seventh album, titled “The Car.” The album consists of 10 songs and runs for a total of 37 minutes.

The first song on the album is titled “There’d Better Be A Mirrorball.” A month before the album dropped, this song, as well as “Body Paint”, were released as singles. The song is catchy, and the beginning almost gives off the vibe of ballroom dancing. Parts of the beat are reminiscent of the song “United In Grief” by Kendrick Lamar. However, in my opinion it’s just not that good, and definitely shouldn’t have been released as a single.

“I Ain’t Quite Where I Think I Am” is the second song in the album. The chorus in the beginning sounds like a Harry Styles song, and I think that this is one of the better songs on the album. It’s a song you can jam to, although some parts of the rhythm remind me of the song “I’m Not The Only One” by Sam Smith.

“Sculptures Of Anything Goes” is next, and I love the beat of this song. Although Alex Turner’s voice is excellent, the lyrics aren’t my favorite, but they are definitely not the worst of the album. It was reminiscent of some of the band’s older songs, leaning more in the alternative rock genre.

I honestly have nothing to say about “Jet Skis On The Moat”. It was my absolute least favorite and I’d rate it a 2/10, maximum. Alex sings in a weird singing voice, almost giving himself a strange accent. 

In “Body Paint” there is a short melody throughout the song that sounds like the keyboard and it adds a nice touch to the song. The keyboard is what draws me to the song and it has nice instrumental parts throughout. Overall, it’s one of my favorite songs on the album. It’s a low-key song that you can relax and sing along to. 

“The Car” starts off with a nice guitar instrumental in the beginning. It’s an easy going song, but the beat and the tone of Turner’s voice remind me of the ending of a tragic movie where the main characters rides a horse into the sunset. 

“Big Ideas” has a nice beat to it as well as well-written lyrics. This is another one of my favorites on the album. It has a nice bit of electric guitar at the end, adding in extra goodness to the already catchy tune.

In “Hello You”, Alex Turner sings in a falsetto. The lyrics “Hello gruesome/There’s just enough time left to swing by” remind me of the Netflix show “You,” because when Joe (the main character) becomes fascinated with someone, he tends to stalk them and destroys anything/anyone that gets in his way. The title and some of the parts where Turner sings ‘Hello You” also remind me of the show because we get the show from Joe’s point of view, meaning we can sometimes hear his thoughts. When Joe becomes fascinated with someone he usually says “Hello, You.” The drums in the background are a nice touch and compliment the tone of the song. 

I don’t have much to say about Mr Schwartz to be honest, and that’s because there isn’t much to say about it. It’s boring. It’s slow. There is quite literally nothing notable or memorable about this song.

“Perfect Sense” is the second to last song on the album. The lyrics in this song are my favorite from the album. For example, Turner sings “That’s what it takes to say, ‘good night’ sometimes, I wrap my head around it all and it makes perfect sense.” He hits a nice run when he sings the lyric “good night.”

Overall, this was not what I expected when I saw that Arctic Monkeys had dropped an album, in a bad way. The album has a disco/jazzy feel to it, which I was not a fan of. As someone that’s generally a fan of their older albums, this came as a disappointment. The album was really slow and in my opinion, it nearly put me to sleep and there were maybe two good songs overall.

10. Jet Skis On A Moat

9. There’d Better Be A Mirrorball 

8. The Car

7. Sculptures Of Anything Goes

6. Mr Schwartz

5. Hello You

4. Big Ideas

3. I Ain’t Quite Where I Think I Am

2. Perfect Sense

1. Body Paint

Mila Morgan, '24
Mila is a junior at J-DHS. She is the Communications Director and RamPage Assistant and this is her second year writing for the RamPage. In her free time, she enjoys reading, drawing, and listening to music.