Senior Capstone Teachers Acquire Blimp for New Ad Campaign

If you haven’t heard of the new Senior Capstone course at Jamesville-DeWitt High School, then you must live under—well, a capstone. Over the past few weeks, posters, announcements, and videos advertising the course took the school by force. However, despite the expansiveness of their marketing, Senior Capstone co-teachers Mr. Clinton and Ms. Panek are still not satisfied. Now, they are reaching for the sky—literally.

“This senior capstone course is truly something special,” Clinton said, “and so we decided that we needed something equally special to advertise—” 

“—We have a blimp!” Panek exclaimed, barging excitedly into YamPage’s totally real interview with Mr. Clinton.

“Yes, that’s what I was getting to,” Clinton said, upset to have lost his moment to announce the big news but still beaming nonetheless. “We’ve acquired a blimp so that our advertising can become a little more elevated.”

The idea was sparked back when the Goodyear Blimp visited Syracuse for the SU-Notre Dame football game, and, over the past few months, Clinton and Panek have been “cleverly” planting the bug in Principal Lawson’s ear.

“I think I mentioned it to him a few times in passing,” Panek said, nonchalantly. Lawson reported to YamPage that these mentions occurred exactly 106 times. 

“Eventually, I caved. Their persistence was definitely… persuasive,” Lawson said.

While most students are unaware of these proceedings due to their obliviousness towards the full-size blimp parked in the fields by the bus garage, the Senior Capstone students are surprisingly supportive of this new marketing idea.

“I think this is definitely their most innovative idea yet. And to see their process evolve from simple posters to a full blown aerial show… it’s truly inspiring,” Senior Capstone student Anka Chiorini said, a tear beginning to trickle down their face. “It motivates me to reach for the stars with my project.”

“I’m supportive as long as my face isn’t involved,” another Senior Capstone student Connie Zhang stated, frankly.

If you thought this was the end, though, you are sorely mistaken. It turns out that the blimp is only the start of an unprecedented new ad campaign.

“If Mr. Lawson’s Navy connections can get us a blimp, we can do anything!” Clinton exclaimed..

Their ideas range from replacing the American flag on the Moon with a Senior Capstone poster, getting the current capstone students’ faces carved into Mount Rushmore, and buying a shiny, new Corvette for any capstone-related transportation needs because why not?

So, juniors: if you still somehow don’t know what Senior Capstone is about, make sure to look sky-high. You might just be persuaded to give up early dismissal for the chance to take a course about rocks with hats!

Josephine Dupuis
Josephine Dupuis was born in the late 1910s (she forgot which year) as Helen Smith. World-renowned for her work as a human statue in New York City, she decided to change her name in order to fully embody the heritage of her muse, The Statue of Liberty. After losing her job during the Great Depression, she tried a wide variety of occupations, ranging from potato farmer to bounty hunter, but none of them brought her the same passion as being a human statue. She’s hoping that her new job in journalism will spark a flame in her 100-and-something year old heart. She is dedicating all her articles to her two favorite great-great-grandchildren, Yammy and Paige. She is a long-lost cousin of Madie Phillips (’23).