June is just five months away as we head into the middle of this crazy school year. And we all know that when June arrives, it brings with it summer, happiness, and the Regents exams. However, due to this hectic school year and the coronavirus, will there be Regents exams? Yampage had the pleasure of interviewing students and teachers as well as parents about this prospect. 

Sophomore Macy Durkin told Yampage, “Regents! Ha! Wait, are there going to be Regents still?” Durkin then left in a panic. We also interviewed 10th grader, Jasmine Ho, who said, “If we have the Regents in June, I’m going to tattoo all the answers on my body.” If you think that was an extreme response, Luke Cantone told our reporter, “If we have the Regents in June, I’m going to pray for a sharknado.” 

Science teacher, Mrs. Raicht, reported, “I really hope we don’t have the Regents. My 10th graders don’t know the difference between the Calvin Cycle and Calvinism!” We also interviewed Mrs. Wood, who told Yampage, “My students are not ready for the Regents. They still haven’t figured out that imaginary numbers aren’t numbers you make up in your head.” 

Yampage also spoke with 10th grader Tara Pollock’s mother, who stated, “Please don’t have the Regents. I don’t need my daughter to get held back another year! I can’t handle it anymore!” 

As far as we know the Regents exams are still scheduled for June, but with COVID-19 still on the rage, will J-D students be able to dodge another year of Regents exams? As we await a response from the state of New York, more and more students at J-DHS cross their fingers in hope of not taking these dreaded and useless exams. 

Karletta Higgins
Born in 1987, Karletta Higgins is a convicted forger, and soap carving enthusiast. Karletta was arrested in 2000 when she attempted to steal the Declaration of Independence, but accidentally replaced it with the Gettysburg Address and signed her name at the bottom. When in prison she taught a soap carving class to her fellow inmates. Now she writes for Yampage at Jamesville DeWitt and in her free time attempts painting. So far, she can’t get past stick figures. The best way to reach Karletta is through her parole officer Tara Sandhu Pollock (‘23).