The Student News Site of Jamesville DeWitt High School

RamPage

The Student News Site of Jamesville DeWitt High School

RamPage

The Student News Site of Jamesville DeWitt High School

RamPage

My Holiday Traditions: Reginald Thumbington III

My+Holiday+Traditions%3A+Reginald+Thumbington+III

Reginald Thumbington III is a Pastafarian, a religious group that historically celebrates a vaguely-named winter holiday known as “Holiday,” that is often identical to Christmas, save for the Holiday dinner prayer ending in the famous “R’amen”. Because of Thumbigton’s ban from his home-dimension of Handyland, his relatives all come to visit him in this realm. Reginald Thumbington III and his family have many unique hobbies and traditions. Knitting is a very popular Holiday pastime in the Thumbington family. The family often divides into pairs to create one solitary arm-warmer for the couple to share. Whichever pair creates the best pattern is said to have good luck and many fun times together in store for the New Year! The Thumbingtons also love to decorate the Holiday Tree with lights, ornaments, and, of course, a pasta strainer on top to symbolize their eternal faith to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Reginald Thumbington and his sisters, Wristina and Palmnelope also love to bake! Their favorite thing to make together is Lady Fingers. Unfortunately, they aren’t very good at baking, so everything they make is a bit… “toasted.” But hey, burnt is the new beautiful. Although they are hands, and consequently have no voice box, they love to tell stories and sing songs in Sign Language. Reginald’s personal favorite Holiday Carol is “Deck the Halls with Bowls of Pasta”. (You might have heard of it, but you’ve obviously been singing the wrong words). Another song that is popular is Pasty the Ramen, which is sung to the tune of Frosty the Snowman, and goes a little something like this:

“Pasty the Ramen was a cheap, old, crappy soul,

With a certain charm for the college kids, who would buy him by the bowl”. 

Clearly, Holiday festivities in the Thumbington Household deserve two thumbs up! 

The Thumbington family’s annual holiday card.

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