My Holiday Traditions: Reginald Thumbington III

Days until Winter Break: 4

Reginald Thumbington III is a Pastafarian, a religious group that historically celebrates a vaguely-named winter holiday known as “Holiday,” that is often identical to Christmas, save for the Holiday dinner prayer ending in the famous “R’amen”. Because of Thumbigton’s ban from his home-dimension of Handyland, his relatives all come to visit him in this realm. Reginald Thumbington III and his family have many unique hobbies and traditions. Knitting is a very popular Holiday pastime in the Thumbington family. The family often divides into pairs to create one solitary arm-warmer for the couple to share. Whichever pair creates the best pattern is said to have good luck and many fun times together in store for the New Year! The Thumbingtons also love to decorate the Holiday Tree with lights, ornaments, and, of course, a pasta strainer on top to symbolize their eternal faith to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Reginald Thumbington and his sisters, Wristina and Palmnelope also love to bake! Their favorite thing to make together is Lady Fingers. Unfortunately, they aren’t very good at baking, so everything they make is a bit… “toasted.” But hey, burnt is the new beautiful. Although they are hands, and consequently have no voice box, they love to tell stories and sing songs in Sign Language. Reginald’s personal favorite Holiday Carol is “Deck the Halls with Bowls of Pasta”. (You might have heard of it, but you’ve obviously been singing the wrong words). Another song that is popular is Pasty the Ramen, which is sung to the tune of Frosty the Snowman, and goes a little something like this:

“Pasty the Ramen was a cheap, old, crappy soul,

With a certain charm for the college kids, who would buy him by the bowl”. 

Clearly, Holiday festivities in the Thumbington Household deserve two thumbs up! 

The Thumbington family’s annual holiday card.

Reginald Thumbington III
Reginald Thumbington III was born sometime in the early 2000’s, but, because he has no brain, he cannot remember the precise time and date. He previously ruled over the Finger Lakes as a totalitarian dictator in an alternate dimension known as Handyland. A self-proclaimed Pastafarian messiah, Mr. Thumbington can often be seen attempting to convert unsuspecting victims to his eternal worship on Quora. In addition, he has many hand-tastic hobbies such as arm-wrestling, hoarding bracelets and bowties (as he is a Hand of Culture), and being better than everyone else. After being exiled from his Porcelain Throne on Handyland due to a democratic uprising following his ambiguous ban of rubber duckies, Reginald Thumbington III is excited to start his new career as a journalist at the only place that would hire him. He is hopelessly and permanently attached at the right elbow to Lizzie Van Buren (‘22) and loves to torture her by leaving smudges on her doodles on purpose.