My dear readers,
I will be spending this holiday season in the comfort of jail. I accidentally signed my name in highlighter across a forgery, oh well. But this year for my holiday plans, I have decided to go all out! I have decorated my prison cell in multi-colored lights. I have also decorated my fellow inmates in garlands. They weren’t very happy. The prison serves my favorite food, stuffed tofu chops! They are so yummy and nobody else likes them, so I eat them all! The guards are letting us hold a soap carving competition, although we have to use plastic butter knives, and some prisoners can’t even use that. My fellow inmates and I have decided to pull a prank on some of the officers and attempt a jailbreak, we were inspired by the movie The Shawshank Redemption. If things go well, I will be out and free and steal all of your Christmas trees! Just kidding… kind of! Have a great holiday season!