Yamfam, I’m sure you are all wondering what I, Aveline Chocolat, everyone’s favorite billionaire/journalist/beauty queen/sourdough enthusiast/professional singer, am doing for the holidays, so I thought I would give the people what they want and tell you all about my holiday traditions.
Holidays at the Chocolat/Caramel/Smush household are always hectic… because we celebrate them all! That’s right, just like my short lived jam packing factory in the mountains of Tibet, December is jam packed with holiday traditions from all over the world and, at my house, they all get celebrated! Be it Hanukkah or Christmas or the very secret Martian holiday, Zorp Day, the Chocolats most definitely celebrate it. The holiday frenzy starts at Thanksgiving and goes straight through New Years. It’s like a nonstop holiday feast/disco party, just like the nonstop holiday feast/disco party that Dame Judi Dench threw in 2011!
My family loves tradition, so we always do a traditional meal for each holiday; for Thanksgiving we make mashed potatoes, for Christmas we roast a full reindeer, and for Zorp Day we eat the weakest male family member! “Who’s cooking this food?” you may be wondering. Well, my whole family chips in, from my parents to my six sisters, Pistachio, Almond, Pecan, Walnut, Cashew, and Meredith. I’m so excited to see all of them. I haven’t seen them since we ate Almond’s husband last Zorp Day!
Well, Yamfam, the holidays are fast approaching, so I must board a plane and fly to my ancestral homeland in the sewers of NYC. Happy holidays!
Also, buy my Christmas album, “All I Want for Christmas is Aveline and Now You Can Have Her for Only $9.95!” which comes out on April 12, 2021. It will be available wherever music is sold. Except for all digital music platforms. You must buy it as a CD.