Mr. Gasparini Club Gains Following and Ancient Tome

Jamesville-DeWitt High School is well known for its amazing clubs founded by some of J-D’s finest. One of these clubs was recently founded to honor Taylor Swift. The club has shown much success, even having a shoutout from the legend herself during a concert.

But half-price tickets aren’t all the Swiftie Club is getting. A new club took inspiration in their successful format and made their sole focus a celebrity. The Mr. Gasparini Club is gaining popularity at an exponential rate. At the time of writing it has forty-nine members. Or ‘Gaspers’ as they like to be called.

Mr. Gasparini Club features many fun activities such as shaving their heads or wearing suits to school. On Tuesday, the Gaspers will be selling life sized Gasparini cutouts, themed t-shirts, and VHS tapes of his best moments. All items will be placed at the fair range of $1 – $1000, so be sure to bring your wallets!

If you’re not sold yet on the Gasper club, this next part will surely hook you. Rumors say that an ancient tome was hidden long ago on the third floor of the school. This book contained the ancient words of the J-D founders that if read backwards, will summon the spirits of previous school administrators. The Gaspers have gained control of this knowledge and will be using it to summon Lord Yammington the Third. YamPage urges all students to join the club and witness history being reborn.

In other news, a Lawson fan club was founded with Lawson being the first, and only, member. If you happen upon him in the hallway, be sure to give this sad, sad man a high five. Only one though, we don’t want him to get his hopes up.

Billy Bob Joe
Billy Bob Joe is an accomplished snowman with a fortune to his name in royalties. He was born in Syracuse and has never traveled anywhere else. Some of his favorite activities are neglecting his teeth, writing bad articles, and bullying Larry from editing. Important matters can be discussed with him in his business hours which are as follows: the minutes from 11:59 to 12:00 on the 31st of September in the years 2027, 2054, and 3069. In any other case, you can contact Larry in editing or Aiden Bright (‘25).