On Saturday, Nov. 19, the boys volleyball team won states. However, despite their claims, they did not do it alone.
The day is Nov. 10, 2022 and the J-D Athletic Department is in a meeting. What do they do? States is in nine days and they have no hope to win. “Do we forfeit and not get embarrassed?” one timid coach asks. “Do we try our best until we don’t succeed?” another says. Murmurs erupt, but are interrupted: “No! All we need to do is get a little… Looney.”
That night, a call is made to the one and only Bugs B. Bunny. “What’s up, doc?” the anthropomorphic rabbit asks.
“I need you to return a favor long overdue, old friend,” says the caller.
“I owe a lot to a lot of people, doc,” Bunny responds, munching on a carrot.
“It’s Lawson. Gregory Lawson,” replies the caller.
“Why didn’t ‘cha say so, doc! Count us in, whaddya need a new mascot? We have plenty of talking animals but I don’t think we have a ram,” Bunny states.
“No, no. We need the Tune Squad. Ever played volleyball, Bugs?” asks Lawson.
“We split up, Greg. After Michael Jordan’s retirement, we thought we were done, but then Lebron James got us out only to get a 26% on Rotten Tomatoes, so we gave up on sports,” says Bunny.
“What if I gave you a week’s worth of school lunch carrots, the ones in those not environmentally responsible plastic bags?” asks Lawson.
“You’ve got yourself a deal, doc!” exclaims Bunny.
Practice began the next day. Lola Bunny was serving specialist while Daffy Duck was setter. Bugs Bunny himself played libero while Tweety Bird and Sylvester were outside hitter and middle blocker. The Tasmanian Devil played defensive specialist. The team was crazy good and showed great promise. It wasn’t until everyone arrived in Albany that the Tune Squad put on their teenage boy disguises (really smelly) and hit the court. No one could tell that the team was secretly Looney Tunes characters in disguise. Even Michael B. Jordan was there to have a short cameo and one-liner before disappearing!
With a new trophy under J-DHS’ name safely inside the trophy case, Mr. Lawson felt accomplished, even while shipping out thousands of carrot packages to Bunny.