It’s happening folks. The tenth graders are beginning to receive their permits! The Class of ‘23 is starting to take to the road and show off their skills, but just how skilled are they?
Tenth grader Luke Cantone recounted a horrifying story of a driving practice session: “We were in an empty parking lot and I was learning the gears. Thinking I was in drive, I stepped hard on the pedal. Little did I know, we were in reverse and we went flying!” Cantone’s father told Yampage, “I thought we were going to die. I was a driving coach when I was younger, and never in all my days have I seen more horrendous driving than my son’s.”
On the other end of the spectrum we have tenth grader Macy Durkin, who told Yampage a much different story: “I was going down a street that had a speed limit of 30 miles per hour, when I got pulled over for going too slow! Can you believe that? I was going ten miles per hour so I wouldn’t hurt the twig that was ten yards in front of me!”
Yampage also interviewed sophomore Jojo Cooper. When asked how she felt about her driving abilities she told us, “I have every confidence that I am the best driver that has ever lived. No one can go as fast as I can on the highway and only hit one car.” Cooper took us for a ride, and all I can remember was screaming for the entirety of it.
We later interviewed senior Coutney Keough: “I saw a kid go zipping down the street. I swear that child was hyped up on sugar; his mom was clutching her purse for safety! I have never been so scared to go driving in all my life.”
Well, my dear readers, it is very clear that the roads will never truly be the same as the Class of ‘23 gets behind the wheel. Remember to wear your seatbelt, and just as precaution, you might want to wear a helmet too.