Activity period is a buzzing time of the day as it is. And now, as clubs are doing their absolute best to get publicity and money to fund activities (presumably), they are delving into the world of niches. 

Waffles were the beginning of it. Then, they added gluten free waffles. As if that wasn’t enough, customizable waffles with options like sprinkles, broccoli, and kale chips have been added. Worst of all, a rumor of ice chips being added to the topping offerings has been circulating.

Of course, other clubs have picked up on this. The president of a club that wishes to stay anonymous commented, “It’s ingenious. I can’t believe I haven’t thought of it before. We will most definitely be adding fundraisers to lure kids in. I’m thinking of something like a nostalgia party!” What is a nostalgia party, one might ask? Simply put, it’s a room filled with Sesame Street characters, those stretchy animal bracelets, and stickers you can take just for existing. That’s right, no good grades are necessary. You can just take a sticker.

Better Mondays Club is currently working to cater to their target group of students by bringing a cosplay convention to the school. Here at YamPage, we are huge fans of yam, potato, and other starchy cosplays, so, obviously, our extensive staff will be showing up.

Sophomore Drew Zombek agreed to comment on these proceedings, stating, “I don’t know, they don’t sound all that bad. I kinda just hang around during activity period, so maybe it’ll spice some things up.”

And spice things up it will. However, these creative club presidents will have only a little time to shine because afternoon announcement volumes are expected to decrease by at least 20 percent by the end of the week.

Asparagus Fern
Asparagus Fern (born 1236 BCE) was a war correspondent stationed in Clipperton Island (a strip of sand off the coast of Mexico) during the Vietnam War. They have since retired and now write for Yampage to “relive the glory days.” Asparagus Fern has been married 700 years to the saguaro cactus Udderly Zucchini. The couple has had quite a lot of plant babies, including the many Christmas trees of Rockefeller Center and Groot. In their spare time, Asparagus Fern enjoys breathing underwater and taming dragons. They play bridge every Wednesday with the local crazy cat ladies. Fern lives near Spiky Olivia, wherever that might be, and refuses to comment if they like asparagus or not. For watering information, contact Paloma Arena (‘25).