Five Ways to Eliminate Boredom During Quarantine

Are you stuck in quarantine? Is your only friend a volleyball that you drew a face on? Fear not, because YamPage™ presents to you Five ways to eliminate boredom during quarantine (in no particular order)!

#1: Attempt Trick Shots

Is your life not difficult enough? Grab a ping pong ball as well as some pots and pans and set them up along your floor with a red solo cup with water in it at the end. Throw the ping pong ball, try to bounce it off the pots and pans with it eventually landing in the cup at the end. Slowly make it more difficult for yourself until you make one that’s really cool!

#2: Take a Tour of Your Backyard

With social distancing being enforced, you will not be able to leave your property. We suggest going outside and staring at your yard. There are so many things to look at! You can watch grass grow, see tulips start to bloom and think about the next way 2020 will try to kill us!

#3: Rob a Bank

While we at YamPage™ do not condone this, there’s no one to stop you. Just because there aren’t any n95 masks doesn’t mean there aren’t any ski masks…..

DISCLAIMER: Don’t rob a bank

#4: Rate Different Orange Juice Brands (1-10 scale)

There are so many wonderful orange juice brands in this world. Put on your nifty hazmat suit and respirator, then make your way to your local grocery store. Make sure to not touch anything but the orange juice containers you plan on purchasing. We suggest the brands Sunny D, Tropicana, Minute Maid, Florida’s Natural, Simply Orange and your local stores brand. Below this is a table we suggest you use for all of your ratings:

#5: Crying

It’s a way to pass time and it seems to be popular among teens during the quarantine.

Digby Thanoscar is a part-time meme lord and part-time botanist. He takes credit for inspiring Pewdiepie and Elon Musk, along with Simon Cowell. He currently lives in the southwest corner of New Yamsterdam and writes to Yampage on pieces of stone that he attaches to pineapples and floats to us across the marshmallow sea. How he gets them to reach us every time, or how he knows what happens in JD is beyond us, and we feel it's better not to ask him. If you yell for David Scibilia (’22), though, he might answer.