Daniel Tiger, COVID Denier

If we’ve learned anything over the past several years, it’s that celebrities are problematic beings. Last week, another Hollywood mainstay showed his true colors. 

Last Tuesday, Daniel Tiger, of “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood” was caught on video refusing to wear a mask in a supermarket. In the video, the store’s manager very politely asked Tiger to wear a mask in accordance with store policy, which he refused to do. Tiger then accused the store manager of infringing upon his constitutional rights and called him a “f****** fascist.” Tiger then turned to the camera and explained the perils of socialism to viewers.

Shocking. Just shocking.

This jarring turn of events has left parents and children across the country baffled.

“He hosts a kids’ show. What the heck?! He’s supposed to be teaching kids to spell or whatever, not that COVID is a liberal conspiracy,” one mother told Yampage. “My kid doesn’t even know how to spell ‘liberal conspiracy!’”

“I’ve rewatched the whole show and Daniel doesn’t take any sort of political stances in any other episode. Not even in ‘Daniel Goes to Washington D.C. on January 6, 2021,’” one elementary school student stated.

“My mom won’t let me watch ‘Daniel Tiger’ any more,” one five-year-old reported. “I told her that cancel culture has gone too far and that you have to separate the art from the artist.” 

As of this writing, PBS Kids has refused to comment on Tiger’s behavior and Daniel Tiger has expressed no intention of apologizing. Tiger’s co-star Katerina Kittycat has withdrawn from the sixth season of the television program.

In other news, the Cat in the Hat of “The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That” is under scrutiny for not knowing as much about that as he claims to.

Aveline Chocolat aka Jeanette Natalia Caramel aka Myrna Smush is a renowned journalist and billionaire. Ms. Chocolat/Caramel/Smush is a two time winner of the Miss Portugal beauty pageant. She won in 1986 and 2014. She has been called the fifth Beatle by people who are not familiar with the Beatles or numbers. She earned a degree in Mongoose Farming from Middle Tennessee State University. She claims she can see the future, but she refuses to give any specifics about her abilities. Despite her deathly yam allergy, she says she is very happy to be writing at YamPage…she also would like to ask “What is YamPage?” She’d call Anka Chiorini (’23) a good friend.