Crocs and Socks Now Against School Dress Code

As some may know, but many don’t, the district has been revising the code of conduct for the high school. This means that irrelevant/outdated policies will be revised or removed, but most importantly, new policies will be enacted.

“It just made sense,” Mr. Gasparini said. “We are here to prepare our students for the future, and this means ensuring that they have a basic understanding of fashion. If anything, making Crocs and socks against the dress code helps our students succeed in and outside of the classroom.”

Leading the charge for this change was board member Carolyn Souser. In an email interview, we were able to receive the following statement on why she believed the change was necessary: “I attended Fashion Institute of Technology. I cannot live with myself knowing that some of the students within the district I represent commit this atrocity of a fashion statement on the daily. There must be change and I took it upon myself to bring it.”

Michael Dibiase (’22) strongly opposes this change to the dress code. “First you take our Wednesdays away, then you take away our natural, God-given right to wear socks with whatever footwear we want? What’s next? Are you going to employ someone in a full-time tax-payer supported position specifically to make sure students are going to the ‘right’ bathroom?”

In an act of civil disobedience, this student has led a small group of like-minded students in wearing socks outside of their Crocs. “The policy says no Crocs with socks, not no socks with Crocs.” If one would like to join the movement to regain the right to wear socks and Crocs, they should come to the next meeting of the Croc-Sock Club located somewhere in the Red Hall on Tuesday evenings from 5 to 7 p.m. They ask you to bring cookies if you would like to be granted entrance.

UPDATE: After approximately two and a half weeks of consistent protests and acts of civil disobedience, the school board has decided to bring the matter to the table again. This issue will be discussed at the next regularly scheduled meeting and anyone on any side of the Croc and sock aisle is encouraged to come and share their opinion.

Digby Thanoscar
Digby Thanoscar is a proud New Yamsterdam native with a background in botany and underwater welding. When not writing for Yampage, Thanoscar enjoys watching "Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives," and writing long Twitter threads on why it’s an objectively better show than "Chopped." On the rare occasion "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives" isn’t on, Thanoscar can be found playing Papa’s Freezeria. Thanoscar hopes to visit Flavortown with David Scibilia (‘22).