Bored Teens Finding New Ways to Pass Time

With the school year coming to a close, students are finding themselves with nothing to do. Many have been forced to get creative and find new ways to pass time.

“I got all of my school work done by 11am and I was just walking in circles around my room, when suddenly it hit me. I should make a sock puppet,” freshman Madie Phillips said, revealing a blue sock adorned with googly eyes and a mustache. “This is Buttons McYarnface and we’re the bestest of friends.”

“Who knew there were so many hours in a day?” junior Khani Cossa wondered aloud, “After I binged everything on Netflix and was forced to ‘go outside and get some fresh air’ by my mother, I decided to do the only logical thing. Make a mud pie!”

“I built a time machine!” senior Abby Morgan told reporters, “I used old car parts and a jump rope! I’m going to go back to 2015 and it’s gonna be great! It’s gonna be great,” she repeated, assuring herself that, yes, this was a good use of her time.

Having played every video game in his possession, freshman Sean Rigdon has begun spending hours with a wooden truck from his childhood. “TRUCK GOES VROOM VROOM!!!” Rigdon stated in a recent interview, not looking up from the red truck, which he rolled back and forth on the ground and eventually crashed into a blue car.

Teachers have been getting in on the fun as well.

“I’m staging a production of Oklahoma! with my daughter’s Barbie dolls,” Mr. Adler said, “This Ken doll is playing Curly McLain and as Laurey Williams we’ve got Barbie (she’s a bit of a diva), and Dr. Barbie simply steals the show as Ado Annie.” He then walked away humming the titular song from the musical.

Meanwhile, at the elementary schools, students have begun reading War and Peace and drinking espresso.

Aveline Chocolat
Aveline Chocolat aka Jeanette Natalia Caramel aka Myrna Smush is a renowned journalist and billionaire. Ms. Chocolat/Caramel/Smush is a two time winner of the Miss Portugal beauty pageant. She won in 1986 and 2014. She has been called the fifth Beatle by people who are not familiar with the Beatles or numbers. She earned a degree in Mongoose Farming from Middle Tennessee State University. She claims she can see the future, but she refuses to give any specifics about her abilities. Despite her deathly yam allergy, she says she is very happy to be writing at YamPage…she also would like to ask “What is YamPage?” She’d call Anka Chiorini (’23) a good friend.