Blue Hall to Get “Hip” Renovation

According to Mr. Gasparini, the most important part of the upcoming construction project in the blue hall is not the improved STEM and art classrooms, but about “creating a hip learning environment” for students. While the J-DHS administration has gone for a more “classy” look in the upstairs bathrooms with Italian tile, they wish for the lower level to better represent teenage life. Mr. Gasparini hopes that the redecoration will make the school more “#relatable,” which he believes in turn will make students’ education in the new STEM and art classrooms even better; “the [remodeled classrooms and redecoration] really go hand in hand.”

However, there is a more emotional note to this remodel. In describing his vision for the blue hall, Mr. Gasparini called the trip through the building a “visual experience that tugs at the heartstrings.” He hopes that when students enter the lower level they will be “flushed with a feeling of home,” a feeling that he and his fellow administrators believe will be essential in alleviating some of students’ difficulties when switching to in-person learning.

Now, how exactly is the administration planning on making the blue hall more “#relatable” and “hip”? Well, after scrolling through TikTok and getting confused within a recorded 0.15 milliseconds, they went to the students. And by doing so they were able to get the information they needed with 227% less Charli D’Amelio and totally needed life hacks.

Among the planned decorations are LED strip lights to line the corners of the ceiling, Pinterest collages to paper the walls, and Harry Styles and Olivia Rodrigo playing over the intercom 24/7. While this ambience may sound like it leans more towards the feminine side, according to Mr. Gasparini, his singular male source stated, “Just give me a PS5 and the ability to make everyone leave me alone and I’ll be good.” The empty space below the staircases are being sectioned off for that sole purpose. Now the administration just has to find some PS5s.

There is an air of excitement flowing throughout the halls of J-DHS. Is it about this remodel or the end of the school year, who knows? But Mr. Gasparini would like to believe the former, stating, “I finally feel cool again and my coolness is only going to grow as this project progresses. Oh wow, can’t you see the coolness radiating off me?”

As we speak, students are holding a “sleep in,” calling for beds to replace desks in the classroom. And another group is holding a “stink out” to call for a ban of deodorant in the blue hall. We will keep you updated as this story develops.

Josephine Dupuis
Josephine Dupuis was born in the late 1910s (she forgot which year) as Helen Smith. World-renowned for her work as a human statue in New York City, she decided to change her name in order to fully embody the heritage of her muse, The Statue of Liberty. After losing her job during the Great Depression, she tried a wide variety of occupations, ranging from potato farmer to bounty hunter, but none of them brought her the same passion as being a human statue. She’s hoping that her new job in journalism will spark a flame in her 100-and-something year old heart. She is dedicating all her articles to her two favorite great-great-grandchildren, Yammy and Paige. She is a long-lost cousin of Madie Phillips (’23).