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Xenophilius Cabral

Xenophilius Cabral
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Good ‘ol Xeno hails from Churchill, Manitoba where he was raised by rabid polar bears. He now lives in Boring, Colorado, where, in addition to writing articles and asexually reproducing, he runs a sanctuary for kiwis, both the bird and the fruit. He spends his free time intently playing online Settlers of Catan, which he enjoys because he was Socrates in a past life. He’ll be impossible to contact for the next few weeks as he is currently halfway through digging a tunnel to China. However, you can contact his pet iguana, Artemis. He shares a birthday and social security number with Caleb Porter (’20).

The Freshmen Just Keep Getting Smaller

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JAMESVILLE-DEWITT HIGH SCHOOL--As we settle into this new school year, many upperclassmen are wondering, “Did the freshmen get smaller this year?”  Senior Alethea Shirilan-Howlett was walking into school on the first day of school when...

Students Spend Two Hours Fighting to Get Through Intersection, Stage Plank-In

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Xenophilius Cabral, Staff Writer Dewitt, NY-- At the end of second period on Monday, the crowd of students at the red hall intersection led to the whole area became entirely impassible. The students continually attempted...

Musical Script Changed to Accommodate New Setting, Character

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DEWITT—This year’s Jamesville-Dewitt High School musical, Freaky Friday, has undergone some unusual revisions in preparation for the start of rehearsals. Originally, the plot of Freaky Friday involved a rebellious teenage girl, Ellie, and her...