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Tretyakov Dmitriy (Dima) Stepanovich

Tretyakov Dmitriy (Dima) Stepanovich
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Dima was a snake milker, crisis actress, and professional funeral goer for 27 years, before pursuing a degree in journalism (with two minors in Egyptology and Bagpiping and being in the LARPing club, not to brag) from Hamburger University in Oak Brook, Illinois. She relocated to Syracuse after graduating because she thought it was actually called Syrupcuse, and assumed this meant it was the maple syrup capital of the world, which makes no sense because this is America, not Canada. While in Syracuse, she got this job at YamPage by telling the interviewer that her mother had cancer and this job would help her pay the medical bills, which was entirely untrue, and Dima used the money instead to fund her miniature sculpture collection depicting life in Soviet Russia. She has since fled to a closed off area of the woods in the Adirondacks and built a log cabin by hand in order to avoid taxes and also other people, so if you need to contact her it would be best to do so through her previously conjoined twin before the illegal surgery they had in New Zealand, Becca Fitzgerald (‘22).

Derealization and Folktronica: 2022 Trend Predictions

If you also want to sound cool, just google “obscure genres of music” and you’ve got yourself a whole new personality!

Intrigue and Inconvenience: The Effects of the Blue Hall Construction

Once again, the administrators of Jamesville-DeWitt High School have asked themselves an important question: what is the most annoying and unnecessary renovation we can make to the school? In what ways can we inconvenience our mentally fatigued students even more? And it seems once again that they have the answer: renovating the Blue Hall. After staring down the Blue Hall for several hours, Principal Gasparini has come to the conclusion that our halls are just much too long and narrow for his comfort. Thankfully, the construction company that he has on speed dial dropped everything to help him for the 15th project in a row. 

J-D Students Mourn Cancelled Traditions

How the school board let him be hired is a mystery, but students did love his class where they did lots of fun labs like, “Who Can Stand Still For the Longest Time Without Dying.”

Students Upset School Musical Won’t Be “The Office”

When the directors finally announced during February break that the show would be “High School Musical 2: The Prequel: The Sequel: Sing Along Edition: Remastered in 4K (includes games and behind-the-scenes on the DVD),” there was an uproar, especially from those who became married to the idea of performing “The Office.”

Student Who Got a PS5 for Christmas Targeted by Both Students and Staff: A...

The group cornered the classmate to interrogate him on how he was able to gain such a coveted item, and after several hours of intense questioning (some up for moral debate), the student confessed his rich grandparents had imported it directly from the Playstation Headquarters.

My Holiday Traditions: Tretyakov Dmitriy (Dima) Stepanovich

yampage's holiday countdown continues... send help

New, Truthful, Virtual College Tours

One good thing to come out of this is that many of these pictures taken prior to God’s death and Satan’s new reign include candid moments with current students in them, providing a more accurate depiction of student life.