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Margret Tangerine

Margret Tangerine
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She's a world-renowned actress, writer, and director. Ever heard of her? Margret Tangerine is her name. If she's not on set working on a new hit movie, she'll be home on her couch working on a new novel. On the weekends you can catch her jetting off to France to work on the new Chanel collection in her finest pearls. If you don't know her by her acting or writing, you'll know her for being the granddaughter of the late Leonardo DaVinci, painter of the Mona Lisa. She recently divorced her former husband Leonardo DiCaprio after finding the Matisse he had hung in their foyer was a fraud. Some call her dramatic, but most call her what she is, a creative genius, that is. And one thing you should know is that she’d never be caught dead in a fake. The last person that accused her of owning a rip-off bag hasn’t been heard from since the late 1800’s. We know from the sounds of it, you’d wish you were Margret, an artist, an actor, a fashionista, and last of all, an icon. She can be contacted through her agent, Sophia Caputo (‘24).

Where The Yampage Seniors Are Headed Next

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YamPage is proud of each and every one of its writers and will miss them all dearly (except maybe Jimothy) in the upcoming years.

Don’t Have a New Year’s Resolution? Let Us Help You!

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Nobody has time to spend centuries putting on leg and butt covers in the morning.

Lizards and Fresh Fruit: Students and Staff Call for New Electives

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Our school needs to catch up with the times and teach aerobic hang gliding.

Citizens Now Allowed to Carry Sugar Packets Anywhere They Go

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Many are outraged by the issues being caused by those that cannot properly handle the sugar packets. Others are upset the sugar packets are getting a bad name from those who don’t know how to use them.

#SkunksinSchool: An Investigation of Strange School Smells

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And you’ll never guess what they found. Actually, it’s the whole point of the article, so I’m sure you can.

How Not to Go Through a Breakup

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Take it from me, Margret, who has dated every famous Leonardo since 1873, and from a bunch of other random people who submitted their terrible breakup stories to a Google Form I sent out to the entire Australian continent. 

Students Weigh in on Spirit Week Themes

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Hopefully, students will have enough spirit to not steal soap dispensers.

Weird Fair Smell Gone, Business Owners Struggle

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“When Fred found out there were no more turtle shells being shipped, he had a meltdown and resorted to the cheaper alternative, tortoise shells."

The Truth Behind Why J-DHS is Ranked #1

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I have proof. I actually don’t, but just trust me on this. After all, I do have a degree in Unruly Russian Conspiracy Theories from Onomatopoeia Community College.

Who Let the Cats Out?

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“The cats were cute, so it was worth getting rabies. Thanks to Toast Malone [what he named the cat], I don’t have to go back to school.”