46.7 F
Saturday, December 9, 2023
Home Authors Posts by Josephine Dupuis

Josephine Dupuis

Josephine Dupuis was born in the late 1910s (she forgot which year) as Helen Smith. World-renowned for her work as a human statue in New York City, she decided to change her name in order to fully embody the heritage of her muse, The Statue of Liberty. After losing her job during the Great Depression, she tried a wide variety of occupations, ranging from potato farmer to bounty hunter, but none of them brought her the same passion as being a human statue. She’s hoping that her new job in journalism will spark a flame in her 100-and-something year old heart. She is dedicating all her articles to her two favorite great-great-grandchildren, Yammy and Paige. She is a long-lost cousin of Madie Phillips (’23).

Boys Lacrosse Players Excited to Pursue Future Careers in Cosmetology

Two seniors have already given up their spots on Division 1 lacrosse teams in order to attend cosmetology school, stating, "No regrets, bro."

Senior Capstone Teachers Acquire Blimp for New Ad Campaign

“I’m supportive as long as my face isn’t involved,” Senior Capstone student Connie Zhang stated.

Ten More Things to be “Pushed Aside” for Future Pep Rallies

punctuation and capitalization are a waste of time pep rallies are not

Homecoming King and Queen to Become Actual Monarchs

The king and queen would be required by the constitution to have an elaborate wedding ceremony, with funds graciously donated by the English department.

AP Exams Actually ThoughtExchange

How in the world is someone supposed to write about the relative importance of anything in only 300 characters?!

BA.2.12 Subvariant Replaces Red Rams as School Mascot

Its level of school spirit at the interview was truly contagious.

Mr. Gasparini’s Retirement to Leave “Big, Gaping Hole” at J-DHS

While the district is hoping for no more bad press, they’ve guaranteed that when something inevitably goes wrong on the 24th, it won’t legally be their fault.

Cafeteria Migration Incites Competition, Ecological Succession

When the juniors noticed that said sophomore wasn’t carrying an AP Lang textbook, his disguise was blown and they violently threw their textbooks at him, knocking him backpack-first onto the cafeteria floor.

Drama Club’s Short Play Festival Brings Short Students to Center Stage [Exclusive Interview]

PHILLIPS: To put it simply, short people do not get enough recognition, especially in the field of drama. In the 70 years of my spiritual leadership of this club, I’ve noticed this discrimination and I wanted to create the opportunity for students who—let’s just say those who probably will never play professional basketball—to have their own plays performed and directed by other short students.

J-D to Make COVID-19 Information Webpage Intellectually Challenging, Fun

As soon as the webpage is opened, users will be sent directly to the BuzzFeed quiz, "Answer These FUN Trivia Questions and We’ll Tell You Which COVID-19 Variant YOU Are."