In light of the current situation, Yampage has decided to put together this collection of our favorite recipes in an effort to ease the crippling boredom you are probably facing. Our 7 delicious recipes are sure to bring warmth and happiness to your home and your families will be thrilled when you finally move from the lifeless position that you have been stuck in for the past three days. These recipes make for the perfect family meal and can be eaten for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or any of the random times you now find yourself mysteriously back in the kitchen. However, they require quite a bit of cooking skill, so avoid them if you are new to chefhood. 

1. Boiled Yams

Our first recipe is courtesy of Martha Stewart and has received high praises from food critics around the world. Its complex cooking procedure makes it one of the most impressive dishes you can prepare. Follow the recipe very carefully, and don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t come out perfectly the first time. It can take years of practice and discipline to get this masterful dish just right, but after a couple of tries you’re sure to blow your family away with your cooking skills.

1. Boil a pot of water.
2. Place yam in water.
3. Boil.
4. Serve.

2. Baked Yams

This dish is an American classic, but Yampage has searched the nation for recipes and prepared thousands of batches of baked yams, each taste-tested by the entire JDHS science department, before narrowing it down to this single recipe. We guarantee that these baked yams will be the most patriotic root vegetable to ever journey through your digestive tract. They are so American, you’ll be burping the national anthem and excreting red, white and blue. 

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Place yam in oven.
3. Bake.
4. Serve.

3. Grilled Yams

Rumored to be the only meal principal Paul Gasparini has eaten since quarantine began in March, these grilled yams are a go-to family favorite. “They’re quick, nutritious, and delicious,” said Gasparini, “why would I cook anything else?” We asked his family members for input about this, but got no response. It’s safe to assume that they have all turned into yams. In any case, here is the Gasparini family recipe: 

1. Place yam on grill.
2. Grill 2-3 minutes on each side, until juicy.
3. Serve.

4. Yam Soup

Soup, with yams in it.

1. Open a can of your favorite soup.
2. Heat.
3. Add yam.

5. Yam Stew

Yam soup, but chunkier.

1. Open a can of your favorite soup.
2. Heat.
3. Add yam.
4. More yam, for chunkiness.

6. Microwaved Yams 

This dish is the unanimous favorite of the Jamesville community and has received an astounding 3.1 stars on the cafeteria’s recipe rating site. A Microwaved Yams Cook-Off was even hosted just this past Tuesday with participants including David Bunyan and Andrew Cottet. Things got heated. Though there was no conclusive winner, it was thrilling to watch. This is another tricky recipe if you haven’t done anything like it before, but it’s definitely worth the effort. Who knows, you could be the next annual Microwaved Yams Cook-Off Champion!

1. Open microwave.
2. Place yam inside microwave.
3. Close microwave.
4. Microwave for 1-27 minutes (some variability depending on wattage).
5. Serve.

7. Yam pudding

The personal favorite of our chief of staff, Giuseppe Baxter, this decadent yam pudding makes for the perfect dessert to pair with any of the other included recipes. The preparation is said to be very calming and stress relieving, so it’s a perfect dish to make if your “family” has been getting on your nerves. This pudding is also great for putting in unexpected places — such as shoes, bathtubs, and pillowcases — to pleasantly surprise said “family.” 

1. Throw yam against a wall or mash using a canoe oar until thick and creamy texture is reached.
2. Scrape into a bowl and add pudding mix.
3. Let sit in fridge for 3-4 hours or overnight. Jiggles when ready.
4. Serve or place in desired location.

Following the instant success of his most recent viral cooking video, school counselor Will Hartley has committed to sharing his expertise in the kitchen with the world. He is expected to release a full step-by-step tutorial of how to prepare all of these dishes in the coming weeks. Until then, we hope you enjoy these recipes and we wish you the best of luck in the kitchen! 

**Note: Yams can be substituted for nearly anything else in all of the above recipes.