Ever wondered how the YamPage writers are all so funny and clever and charismatic and likable? Is it skill? Pheromones?? Obviously not, it’s the dark arts! No human is capable of being THAT hilarious, so to keep submissions entertaining and comedic they make a monthly sacrifice to The Yam in order to keep their satirical powers at maximum comedic strength (measured in LOLs).

The process begins at the JDHS Club Fair, where YamPage invites its new unsuspecting writers into the fold with promises of greatness, power, and candy. Mostly candy. The writers must sign a contract before joining the most prestigious YamPage. Unfortunately for them, they have just sold their souls and forfeited their sense of humor to The Yam (which they would know if they read the fine print, but who does that anyway?).

In the dry season of sillies, the council of Yam selects a lackluster writer who hasn’t submitted to any of the issues as a sacrifice for The Yam in order to ensure another month of prosperity and very seriously silly writing.

The questionable ethics of this process have, however, raised some concerns among the remaining writers of YamPage. One anonymous writer had this to say: “it’s pretty stressful knowing that you could be the next person to get yammed if you don’t write good comedy. You know? And we kinda need writers, like, to write for the page? Anyway, go away. I don’t want to get yammed.”

The officers refused to comment about their writers “getting yammed” and insisted there totally was not anything suspicious going on and it absolutely was NOT connected to the dark arts in any way shape or form OR the yam overlords that will soon take over the world.

Soon.