A new school year brings new experiences, new teachers, new students, new friends, and, of course, new clubs! And what better way to learn about these clubs than in this year’s activity fair? What could be better than a bunch of high schoolers packed into a gym attempting to talk over one another while being given lots of sugar? But YamPage warns readers to put down the candy and keep a watchful eye out because espionage is a foot!

In a terrifying twist to this year’s fair, rumors have gone around about a group of rogue students attempting to infiltrate the fair through the booth of one of the clubs. Amidst the back to school chaos, investigations are in order as these rumors begin to worry the minds of the club presidents. JD senior, Iden Bright, the president of the club, Better Mondays, states that he is “planning on taking extra precautions when setting up the Better Mondays booth this year.” And that he’s ready to “use [their] excellent karate skills to take down any cultists that try to steal [his] booth.”

Digging into these rumors deeper have uncovered some startling secrets. Most of which being unrelated to the issue at hand, an example being that Gregory Lawson actually wears a bald cap to cover his luxurious locks! But a related secret that has been discovered is that the acronym JD that we all know and love doesn’t actually stand for Jamesville DeWitt as we’ve all been led to believe, it in fact stands for the Justice Disassemblers, the name of the cult that has been under our noses this whole time! These JD cultists have been linked to such atrocities as vandalism, voter fraud, and most heinous of all, taking the last cookie at the snack shack! 

A YamPage author has planned on performing a stakeout to catch these disassemblers and stop them in their tracks before they can ruin our school justice. The YamPage representative began their stakeout a week ago and are staying vigilant for any signs of rebellion, as well as any food, as they didn’t pack enough. 

YamPage has attempted to reach out to the local authorities, but were left at a dead end when the police told them to “take a nap, sweetie.” Safe to say Yampage will not be napping until they’ve gotten to the bottom of this concerning caper.

We implore any concerned readers to join the fight before the clubs we all know and love are corrupted and disassembled! To join the fight to save JD sign up here!

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