YAMPAGE STAFF

GIUSEPPE BAXTER- MANAGER AND STAFF EDITOR

Giuseppe Baxter is the founder and manager of the publication Yampage. Prior to working in investigative journalism, he worked as a professional Rasputin impersonator. After work one day, he managed to retell an exact encounter with an unhappy customer who claimed that Rasputin was not Russia’s greatest love machine, and realized he had a gift. Giuseppe claims he is the only person who works at Yampage and that the rest of the staff is his entourage of imaginary friends, but this is up for debate. Giuseppe lives in the bread section of Wegmans with his dog, Mr. Cherry Garcia. Giuseppe refuses to provide his email, but claims that if you shout his name just north of Mario and Salvo’s at approximately 4 P.M., he shall appear and answer all that needs to be answered.

MRS. STOICH- STAFF WRITER

Mrs. Stoich is a world famous author by day and professional BeyBlader by night. Growing up in rural Indiana, she took her dreams to the big city after graduating NYU’s Tisch School of Arts with a undergraduate degree in Performance Studies and a masters degree in Musical Business Administration.

Now living in the Lower East Side, Mrs. Stoich has taken to writing news in her free time. Connected to Jamesville Dewitt through her long lost cousin Paul Gasparini, she is delighted and excited to be writing for Yampage. When she is not working or writing, you can find her at Whole Foods stocking up on those nutrient plentiful grains for her homemade granola or at Wegmans picking out some overpriced sushi.

She hopes you enjoy the content and can’t wait for some fan mail!

XENOPHILIUS CABRAL- STAFF WRITER
Good ‘ol Xeno hails from Churchill, Manitoba where he was raised by rabid polar bears. He now lives in Boring, Colorado, where, in addition to writing articles and asexually reproducing, he runs a sanctuary for kiwis, both the bird and the fruit. He spends his free time intently playing online Settlers of Catan, which he enjoys because he was Socrates in a past life. He’ll be impossible to contact for the next few weeks as he is currently halfway through digging a tunnel to China. However, you can contact his pet iguana, Artemis.

RAFFAELE QUINTINO- STAFF WRITER

Raffaele Quintino was born in Idaho in 1956. Before Yampage, he served as a spy for the FBI. Raffaele is, in fact, not his real name. In his lifetime, he has been assigned over 150 different identities by the witness protection program. This is because of all the enemies he made throughout his career. He is actually banned from Russia, North and South Korea, most of the Netherlands and all the Dollar Generals in Wisconsin. He did not wish to elaborate on the last one, but explained in full detail what he did to make Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un cry via Facebook messenger. He wants to write for Yampage because he feels he can add a “personal touch” to the articles. “As an FBI agent, I was able to learn a lot about people through their phone cam- I mean by talking to them when I was doing normal FBI things not related to watching people on phone camera- damn it, never mind.”

Guiseppe Baxter
Giuseppe Baxter is the founder and manager of the publication Yampage. Prior to working in investigative journalism, he worked as a professional Rasputin impersonator. After work one day, he managed to retell an exact encounter with an unhappy customer who claimed that Rasputin was not Russia’s greatest love machine, and realized he had a gift. Giuseppe claims he is the only person who works at Yampage and that the rest of the staff is his entourage of imaginary friends, but this is up for debate. Giuseppe lives in the bread section of Wegmans with his dog, Mr. Cherry Garcia. Giuseppe refuses to provide his email, but claims that if you shout his name just north of Mario and Salvo’s at approximately 4 P.M., he shall appear and answer all that needs to be answered.