As students know, many of the bathrooms are currently closed to combat recent spikes in vaping activity. However, after the school had an incident involving an anonymous junior’s futile attempt to find an open bathroom, the administration realized they forgot one crucial piece of information: Students gotta go.

“We realized we needed to give the students a way to relieve themselves during school hours,” Mr. Nylen stated in an interview, “We think we’ve come up with the perfect solution.”

Over the morning announcements, Mr. Gasparini shared his plan to dig one gender neutral hole in the middle of the Four Corners. Students would be allowed to urinate into this hole during or after the school day. 

Construction on the chasm began and ended on January 8, with it taking about forty-five minutes for the janitor to dig a hole in the hallway. By the end of the day, the crater was fully functional. Students were pleasantly surprised and described the hole as being unexpectedly hygienic and as having a large supply of name brand toilet paper.

“I was expecting to find a disgusting bacteria filled pit, but it was actually quite nice. There were even copies of magazines to read while using the hole!” One sophomore said.

“I’m not especially proud of what I did,” said the anonymous junior whose accidental urination gave us the beloved cavity, “but I’m glad it caused change.”

In other news, the hole has now been closed due to students leaving class to vape around it.