{"id":13112,"date":"2020-12-15T16:08:24","date_gmt":"2020-12-15T21:08:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/?p=13112"},"modified":"2020-12-15T16:08:25","modified_gmt":"2020-12-15T21:08:25","slug":"my-holiday-traditions-agatha-smoot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/my-holiday-traditions-agatha-smoot\/","title":{"rendered":"My Holiday Traditions: Agatha Smoot"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cThere\u2019s no place like home for the holidays.\u201d That\u2019s why this year, I\u2019m packing up my prized butter churn and heading back to my hometown of Willow Canyon, Arizona to spend the holiday season rediscovering my roots. Though I have no remaining family members with which to spend the holidays (no decent<\/em> family members, that is), I\u2019ve always felt that there is nothing like the empty desert to bring about feelings of holiday cheer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over this break, I\u2019m focusing on what really matters, deep down in the bottom of my heart: winning. I plan to spend most of my time in Willow Canyon strength training for my upcoming butter-churning tournament. (Although I retired from the sport in 2017, the churn beckons me most insistently during the holidays, and I always find myself falling back into passion for it).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Training will consist of 4 hour olympic weight lifting sessions each morning, followed by a 26.2 mile run, then wrapped up with an aggressive obstacle course (think American Ninja Warrior<\/em>). In the evenings I will retire to my cozy underground bunker, where I will churn butter from dusk until dawn. Each day will repeat like this so that by the time the ball drops on New Year\u2019s Eve, I\u2019ll have been whipped into peak athletic condition. I\u2019m determined that this year, I will win that Churning Championship title, and I don\u2019t care what I have to sacrifice to do it. In my free time, I\u2019ll be watching Dolly Parton\u2019s Christmas of Many Colors <\/em>and knitting a scarf.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yampage’s winter break countdown begins!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":49,"featured_media":13113,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13112"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/49"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13112"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13112\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13113"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13112"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13112"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13112"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}