After one of the most controversial elections in human history, Michael Meskos was elected sophomore class co-president. In the past week, President Meskos has announced his new plan to build a wall separating JD Middle School and Christian Brothers Academy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe youth of our JD community are being corrupted by the sinister force that lurks mere feet away from the middle school. Feet, I tell you, feet!\u201d Meskos stated in a recent press conference. \u201cDo you really want the future of JDHS to be exposed to CBA, who is responsible for all of the evils of the middle school including, but not limited to, the swim unit and the eighth grade career research project. We need to build a wall.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When asked who would pay for that wall, Meskos told us CBA would pay for it with all of their private school money. He also claims that he is the single greatest sophomore class president to ever serve in the entire history of JDHS and that he once fought an alligator blindfolded. As of this publication, neither of these claims have been confirmed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So far, his plan has been fairly well received by the general JD public.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThose CBA students need to be stopped,\u201d sophomore Meghan Christian reported. \u201cThey\u2019re taking our jobs! I heard that one of them took a line leader position away from a JD fifth grader and that another one is the team captain of the JD\/CBA Wrestling Team. Pretty soon there won\u2019t be any jobs left for honest, hardworking JD students.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the last week, several anti-CBA protests have been held, many taking place in the middle of Randall Road, in between the two schools. Some signs from these protests read \u201cJD first\u201d and \u201cNot in my JD!\u201d and even \u201cI got swept up in this angry mob and I\u2019m not sure what is going on. Please send help!\u201d Cries of \u201cBuild that wall!\u201d and \u201cMake JD great again!\u201d could be heard from Canada. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When asked for her opinion, CBA student Marielle Emmanuel (\u201825) stated, \u201cI have no idea what is going on. I mean, I knew there was like a rivalry or whatever, but this seems a bit extreme. Also, why should we pay for it? Doesn\u2019t JD have all of that sweet, sweet Krispy Kreme sale money saved up somewhere?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While Meskos\u2019 plan has many supporters, several JD students have come together to found a new club called \u201cStudents for JD\/CBA Unity.\u201d They have already organized several counter protests and have 112 followers on their club\u2019s Instagram, most of whom are club members. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCBA students are not evil, they\u2019re people just like us,\u201d Students for JD\/CBA Unity president and losing candidate in the sophomore class election Sabina Hege told the school in an email blast. \u201cWe need to stand up for justice in this school. And that\u2019s why you should have voted for Sabina Hege for sophomore class president.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In other news, an outside investigator has been brought in to investigate president Meskos\u2019 ties with F-M.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cDo you really want the future of JDHS to be exposed to CBA, who is responsible for all of the evils of the middle school including, but not limited to, the swim unit and the eighth grade career research project. We need to build a wall.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":13099,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13098"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/43"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13098"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13098\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13099"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13098"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13098"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13098"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}