Ah, the simple luxuries that remain all-too-scarce in the lives of many\u2026 Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, sanity itself\u2026 And, most notably, the humble modeling clay. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In recent weeks, there has been a largely unexplainable shortage of this key staple of artistic life, affecting countries all over the world, except Luxembourg, of course. Have more bored people at home taken up a new hobby? Perhaps it has all been consumed by a herd of underground elephants? Or could it be the work of the magical purple elves that live in our closets and swipe our unmatched socks–have they finally branched out to something new? Conspiracy theories spreading around Facebook by essential-oil-hungry soccer moms have suggested all of these and more. What\u2019s for certain is how this has affected the JD Art Program.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s tragic!\u201d wailed Mr. McIntyre through hysterical tears. \u201cWe can\u2019t do anything about it. One small package ALONE sells for BILLIONS of dollars on the Black Market, not including shipping and handling! We\u2019ve had to resort to Play-Doh just to keep our quota up! Without the sale of high-quality products made by students, the entire art program could go under! We\u2019re hanging by a thread as it is! And worst yet, there doesn\u2019t seem to be an end in sight! It could be like this for four slip-and-score and seven thousand years.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because of Play-Doh\u2019s short out-of-can life expectancy, students have had to work at unprecedented rates to finish their latest projects. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIT WON\u2019T STICK!\u201d one freshman remarked in a Starbucks Pumpkin-Spice Latte- induced rage as she attempted to smash two dried-out pieces of neon green doh together. \u201cEven WATER <\/em>doesn\u2019t ease it at this point! How will I ever finish my ten-foot bust of Shrek\/Barry Bee Benson\/Joe Biden NOW?\u201d Other (though markedly less ambitious) Ceramics students have had similar reactions to this catastrophic occurrence. \u201cI KNEW I should have just stuck with Photography!\u201d another stated after having a panic attack inside the Firing Room while watching his beloved masterpiece break into two. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Call it cruel, call it crazy, but the world needs its clay supply. Mr. McIntyre and his students may be suffering, but, one particular company sure is raking in the Doh\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cI KNEW I should have just stuck with Photography!\u201d another stated after having a panic attack inside the Firing Room while watching his beloved masterpiece break into two. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":52,"featured_media":12678,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12677"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/52"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12677"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12677\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12678"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12677"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12677"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12677"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
<\/p>\n\n\n\n