{"id":11508,"date":"2020-04-08T16:02:38","date_gmt":"2020-04-08T20:02:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/?p=11508"},"modified":"2020-04-10T17:16:39","modified_gmt":"2020-04-10T21:16:39","slug":"lizards-lizards-and-more-lizards","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/lizards-lizards-and-more-lizards\/","title":{"rendered":"Lizards, Lizards, and More Lizards"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

There\u2019s more than one pandemic hitting JD this week\u2014 what\u2019s being called \u201clizard-fever\u201d has broken out among AP Bio students in response to their latest online learning experience: the Lizard Evolution Virtual Lab. This lab was assigned to the students during what once was spring break with the apparent intent to drill the one key skill of biology: measuring lizards. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

AP Bio student Neel Patel detailed his experience with the lab to yampage. \u201cI must\u2019ve measured at least a hundred lizards.\u201d His remarks mirrored those of other students who described similar ordeals. But the question remained, why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As teacher Keith Comfort explains, \u201cMeasuring lizard hindlimb lengths is a crucial skill for anyone who wants to have a shot in the biology world.\u201d Despite the unusual circumstances, Comfort has insisted that this imperative lab must go on. He added, \u201cBiology doesn\u2019t stop for a pandemic. It\u2019s cutthroat out there. I just want to give these kids a chance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But students have not been taking well to Comfort\u2019s tough love. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI am by no means equipped for this,\u201d said a weary Claire Macero. \u201cI\u2019ve never measured so many reptiles in my entire life. It\u2019s exhausting.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A crazed Mena Coles-Carruthers told yampage \u201cI eat lizards. I sleep lizards. I breathe lizards. I am lizards.\u201d From there, she was sent to virtual counseling in hopes that she could be rescued from her state of lizard-mania.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After seeing several cases similar to that of Coles-Carruthers, the school psychologist explained that she believed social distancing was exacerbating the lizard craze. \u201cThese kids are trapped at home with nowhere to go, so the lizards take over their lives. It\u2019s lizards, lizards, and more lizards – they just can\u2019t escape.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Despite the counseling staff\u2019s best effort, it seems there is still no cure in sight for lizard-fever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Others, however, seem to have developed some form of immunity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One such student is Shamus Endries, who claimed to have completed the lab with ease, even going as far as to say that it was \u201cfun.\u201d Astounded and intrigued by this wild claim, we decided to do some further investigation. \u201cWell, for years, my pet lizard was the most important thing in my life,\u201d revealed Endries in a digital interview. We ended the interview there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When questioned, Nate Rindfuss said, \u201cWe have a lab?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although lizard-fever is not affecting all AP Bio students equally, data has indicated significant decreases in the overall sanity of the class, which is alarming considering the meager levels they had to begin with. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite the adversity, Comfort maintains that this will go on until every lizard is measured. \u201cThis is AP Bio,\u201d Comfort said. \u201cWe don\u2019t mess around.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After seeing several cases similar to that of Coles-Carruthers, the school psychologist explained that she believed social distancing was exacerbating the lizard craze. \u201cThese kids are trapped at home with nowhere to go, so the lizards take over their lives. It\u2019s lizards, lizards, and more lizards – they just can\u2019t escape.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":49,"featured_media":11510,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11508"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/49"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11508"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11508\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11510"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11508"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11508"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11508"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}