{"id":10732,"date":"2019-12-20T09:40:58","date_gmt":"2019-12-20T14:40:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/?p=10732"},"modified":"2020-01-31T17:08:25","modified_gmt":"2020-01-31T22:08:25","slug":"new-auditorium-looks-suspiciously-old","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/new-auditorium-looks-suspiciously-old\/","title":{"rendered":"New Auditorium Looks Suspiciously Old"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>On November 19, the new auditorium held its first concert. However, parents expecting a new high tech auditorium were pleasantly surprised to find that the renovated auditorium had maintained its iconic character.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt took us so long to get the auditorium to the state we wanted,\u201d said project manager, Addie Torium, \u201cWe spent a whole day just chewing gum to place under every seat. We brought in a professional woodworker to etch messages into armrests. Our team had to sit in every seat before we could leave every night to ensure the \u2018one million people have sat here before me\u2019 feel that so many theater-goers have grown accustomed to,\u201d the project manager continued with pride, \u201cOnly the best for Jamesville DeWitt, \u2018cuz the UN and stuff.\u201d<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One parent of a freshman attending the concert said, \u201cI\u2019ve only been to Dessert Concerts in the JDMS cafeteria, so I was understandably nervous for swanky high school choral concerts, but when I tripped on the carpet walking to my seat, only to find a piece of chewed gum and \u2018we are not JD\u2019 carved into the arm rest, I felt as though I had found my home.\u201d<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"202\" height=\"110\" src=\"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/100202.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-10734\"\/><figcaption>The design of the new auditorium borrows from the grunge feel of the 90s, with rugged and broken seating for that vintage aesthetic.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Other audience members reported inappropriate drawings on the walls, stained carpets, footprints on seatbacks, torn seats, creaky seats, a smelly back row, and every tenth seat refused to go back up after the concert, which took them back to the good ol\u2019 days of the pre-renovated auditorium.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the concert\u2019s opening remarks from Mr. Gasparini, the principal shared that the next space to be renovated will be the gym. \u201cIt will be complete with scratched bleachers, state of the art kickballs lodged in between pipes on the ceiling and the finest pre-crusted mats!\u201d the administrator gushed, \u201cWe can\u2019t wait!\u201d<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As of this publication, no plans have been announced to unlock any bathrooms.&nbsp;<br><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One parent of a freshman attending the concert said, \u201cI\u2019ve only been to Dessert Concerts in the JDMS cafeteria, so I was understandably nervous for swanky high school choral concerts, but when I tripped on the carpet walking to my seat, only to find a piece of chewed gum and \u2018we are not JD\u2019 carved into the arm rest, I felt as though I had found my home.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":10733,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10732"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/43"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10732"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10732\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10733"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10732"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10732"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jdrampage.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10732"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}